You come for me often; and sometimes you are welcomed. Sometimes I embrace you like a dear old friend. Sometimes we go for walks together through a forested park. Holding hands like lovers on the verge of a life together. Sometimes we just stay in, and share the night together.
There are other times, old friend, when you are not welcome on my doorstep. Sometimes, you need to just leave well enough alone and go your own way. Go back to the dark cave from which you came and wallow in your own misery.
Those are the brighter days for me. Those are the days the clouds clear to blue skies; the sun somehow seems warmer on my skin and the days that the mountains seem so much stronger and wise thrusting themselves from the earth. The days I shout to you; I am not alone dear loneliness. I am not alone!
The days you are away, I become stronger and more alive. Though, I do miss you, and will welcome your embrace again soon. But I also realize that too much time together with you is a depressing and sorrowful place. We need each other. This I know and accept. We've spent too much time together to have it any other way. But, I need our distance from each other, and the more I am away from you, the more I realize this.
I think it best you no longer show up unannounced. If you want me in your life, please let it be me that sends the invitation. Let it be me that sets the table for two, who lights the candles, and pours the wine. You'll be my guest for now on. When I ask you to leave, just go. Don't talk back. Just go. I am not alone dear loneliness. And I live by my rules now. I am not alone.
-Steve O'Donnell
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